The Bachelor: Episode 1 - Open Wide
January 4, 2016 by Fantasy 4 Reality
Welcome to our first edition of this season’s The Bachelor Quick Hits.
Most Pathetic Limo Entrances
1. Maegan’s trotting out Huey the tiny horse/donkey
2. Mandi's giant rose hat and pollination joke
3. Lauren R.'s failure to introduce herself or even hear Ben repeatedly ask her name because she is so busy rattling off everything she learned stalking him
4. Jo Jo’s unicorn impression
5. Breanne’s war on gluten
6. Izzy’s pajama party
7. Leah’s bend and snap
8. Caila’s run and jump
9. Jami’s reveal that Kaitlyn told her about Ben’s giant organ
10. Lace’s cheap kiss trick
Bonus Terrible Introduction: Sam’s boxer or “legal briefs” question
Best Limo Entrances
1. Shushanna’s Russian attack
2. Amanda’s bare bones, normal, polite introductions.
3. Red Velvet
Limo Entrances that Should Have Been Terrible, But Somehow Worked
Jackie’s “Save the Date” and Lauren H.s tossing of the bouquet
1. Izzy’s onesie joke
50. Caila’s “catch me” lines after jumping into Ben’s arms
51. Leah’s “I knew you were a catch” comment after throwing him a football
52. Lauren B.’s line about “taking off” after giving him a set of pilot wings
53. Mandi’s “pollinate my rose” comment
54. Rachel’s “cloud nine” joke after riding in on a white cloud-like hoverboard
Best Line of Night
Lace: I’m just sitting here judging people. That’s what you do.
Most Refreshing Moment of the Night
Amanda volunteering to give Becca a chance to talk with Ben
Favorite Moment of the Night
Maegan sarcastically nodding when Shushanna accepted the rose with a good, old-fashioned Russian ‘Da.”
A- -- He handled everything with aplomb and kept the right women, but he should have tossed aside Mandi and rescinded Lace’s rose when she confronted him for not making sufficient eye contact.
Best Fantasy Performances
Lace led the way with 140 points for earning a rose, being the first to kiss Ben, having a kiss attempt rebuffed by Ben, crying, and earning the final rose of the evening.
Olivia earned 110 points for receiving the first impression rose.
Jo Jo earned 70 points for receiving a rose, exiting the limo in a weird costume, and giving that costume to Ben. Mandi also earned 70 points for exiting the limo in a weird costume and displaying a unique talent for Ben (dental skills).
Only Breanne earned points for crying during the confessional after her elimination (what we refer to as the "final 10), thereby embarrassing the honorable name of Brienne and proving that she did not hail from Tarth after all.
Good luck next week when the first alone dates take place and the first women complain about being on a date with a bunch of other women.